Boundaries: An Act of Self-Love
Boundaries can help place a separator and protect sacred space between yourself and other people-- family, friends, things, habits, behavior etc. I've learned that setting boundaries is my responsibility. I allow who and what I want in my life. Setting boundaries helps protect your mental space, physicality, time, energy and so much more. When you set those boundaries and truly implement them, it brings more peace, happiness and joy into your life and the lives of others.
Types of Boundaries:
Boundaries with Self- honoring yourself through self-management of activities and ways of life
Boundaries with Family/Friends/Partner- honoring yourself by protecting your energy from possible draining spaces, unfulfilling places and the people that are closest to you
Boundaries with Work- honoring yourself by dedicating time to self and those close to you and not allowing work to solely be the source of your energy
These are the main types of boundaries we tend to set but feel free to think of other areas in your life that need boundaries and challenge yourself to work around those too!
How to Set Boundaries:
- Create and define your boundaries- choose what needs to be protected, how to limit energy given out, what you will say "no" to and when, let go of any guilt and prioritize your needs, first. Determine what you will accept and what you won't accept. Don't negotiate!
- Communicate your boundaries- without focus on the other person, thing or habit you are looking to protect yourself from, clearly state your boundary and don't waver. Choose to state it's importance without over explaining or apologizing. The main focal point is that this is best for you and for what you need at the time. Remember, this is an act of self-love, it's necessary and healthy for your overall well-being.
- Follow up with your boundaries- Ask yourself: Are they working? How do you feel since implementing the boundaries? Are you needs being met? Are you saving time? Meeting goals? Rate your stress levels from 1-10, 10 being the highest. Re-evaluate and make adjustments that benefit you!
But what happens when people can't respect those boundaries, or when family and close friends really can't get with your saying, "no" or you not being able to make the function? How do we clearly set boundaries and how do we follow through with them?
In my experience this seems to be normal. Boundaries can be pretty difficult for some to accept and embrace. That's not your problem though and those who truly love and care for you, will support your journey. So, while easier said than done, be firm with your boundaries and check yourself and your loved ones to ensure that you’re following through with your newly established boundaries.
You may worry about hurt feelings or being shunned, but with proper communication, those who love and care for you will respect your boundaries. Setting boundaries is very important in our self care; it's an act of love towards yourself and an act of respect towards others.
Every time you say yes to others, make sure you're not saying no to yourself. With all that's happening in our world, you deserve to limit your access to what drains you, protect your energy and time, hold space and leave room for yourself. Do this by setting and upholding your boundaries. Start small and grow as you are able to!
Thanks for reading, please leave a comment on your boundary journey and what's been helpful for you!
Remember: If empathy without boundaries is self-destruction, then empathy with boundaries is compassion. Tune back in next Friday where we delve into self-compassion, the power of being kind to yourself!